Life on the Moon.

No good deed goes unpunished.

Literally.

Everyone ready for a TMI story? What am I thinking? Everyone loves TMI stories.

So, for the last few months all Husband and I have been doing is fighting. Constantly. It started a little before our 2 year marriage anniversary. (We’ve been married for over 2 years, you guys. WOW.) We had a HUGE blow out fight on our anniversary. Which made it even worse for me because “IT’S OUR ANNIVERSAARRRRYYYY!” But when I think back: No. It was just another Monday. (Or Wednesday. Or Saturday. I’m not sure.) It just happened to be a Monday where two years prior, I got married.

Isn’t that funny how we blow things out of proportion because of things like that? “HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT? IT’S OUR ANNIVERSARY!” — “YOU CAN’T YELL AT ME! IT’S MY BIRTHDAY!” …No, actually. It’s Thursday. You just happened to be born X amount of years ago on this day. Or we happened to get married or start dating X amount of years from this Friday. It’s just another day, you guys. Meaning it’s just another fight. It’s no more “monumental” or “rude”. Nope, it’s just another fight on another Monday. Leave it at that.

….I got off topic.

Anyway! We’ve been fighting for the last few months. Which then, unfortunately, led to us not having sex. Because, I don’t know about you, but personally, I don’t really feel like getting naked and rubbing myself all over some guy who I just spent the last 5 hours of my day fighting with. It was AWFUL. We bickered about everything. And the lack of sex made everything worse. We were wound up too tight and the tiniest little things would set us off.

But I hated every second of it. Every. Fucking (not literally). Second. Of. It. And so about two weeks ago, we were laying in bed and I had a brilliant, Dr-Phil-esque epiphany. And so I turned to him:

“Let’s start dating again!”

I didn’t really realize at the time that what I just said could probably be taken two different ways. And after months of fighting and no sex, to have your wife turn to you in bed randomly and say: “Let’s start dating again” might be taken in a “Let’s start dating OTHER PEOPLE again” sort of way.

Not what I meant, though. My bad.

But I decided that we should start dating again. That we should be “boyfriend and girlfriend” instead of “husband and wife”. It sounds a little weird, I’m aware. The whole point of being “boyfriend and girlfriend” is to someday exchange that for “husband and wife”. But the thing is, when you’re boyfriend & girlfriend, you have that fear in the back of your head that it could end at any second. It’s not “official”. You haven’t taken it to “the next level”. So, you’re constantly making sure it stays perfect. You don’t want to fight about stupid little things because you don’t want the love of your life to get mad at you and leave forever.  You court eachother. You show them that you want to be with them.

And you do the same thing when you’re married. You just don’t try as hard. Because now you know that it’ll be alot of legal work and alot of money to break up, so you don’t want to. (Oh, and you love eachother, too. Can’t forget that.) You get settled and you KNOW now that it’s going to last forever, so you find yourself bickering about little shit. You pick fights over petty things. Because you know just because you fight, they aren’t going to leave.

But that sucks.

So, we started dating again. We decided to start courting eachother again. And you know what?

We haven’t fought since.

You know what else?

We’ve been humping like rabbits in heat.

You know what else happened?

Last night romp-fest lead to my husband BURSTING a cyst on my ovaries. It was worth it but HOLY. FUCKING. OUCH. I can’t even MOVE. I can’t pick up Charlie. It hurts to walk. I can’t even sit up in my computer chair. I’m laying on my mom’s bed with her laptop sitting on my crotch because the heat of the laptop is the only thing that will soothe this fucking (literally) pain.

But I feel the need to repeat myself again: It was definitely, definitely worth it.

However, I might be thinking it’s more worth it once I go to the ER and get some pain medication. Because as much as I love my newly rekindled sex with my husband: I also love walking around like all that new sex isn’t being directed into my ass.

(It’s not, by the way. Just puttin’ that out there. You don’t go enter the exit.)

Like I said: No good deed goes unpunished. Sigh.