Life on the Moon.

I definitely chose the right sperm to breed with.

I was looking for my Father-In-Law, David Knibbe, on Facebook. Two of them showed up with mutual friends. One, I recognized immediately as my amazing, outrageous, offensive, loving, ridiculously charming Father-In-Law. The second, however, I didn’t. I looked at our mutual friends and my Sister-In-Law, my new Oma & Opa. Oh, that’s “Grandma” and “Grandpa” in Dutch, by the way. They grew up in the Netherlands & moved here in the 50’s or something like that. My husband’s Grandparents are so beyond Dutch it’s ridiculous. And adorable.

I mean, look at Opa’s Facebook picture. (Yes. He has a Facebook).

Holy DutchFace, am I right? But good LORD, he’s precious.

Anyway! So, a ton of my relatives on my husband’s side were friends with this second David Knibbe. So, I asked Stephen who he was.

Husband: He’s my cousin.
Me: How come I’ve never met him?
Husband: Because he STILL lives in the Netherlands.
Me: Well, I love all the rest of my Uber-Dutch relatives. I’m adding him.

A few hours later, I had a notification on FaceBook.

• David Knibbe has accepted your friend request!

Now. My husband is beautiful. Edward-Cullen-Shirtless-Except-With-A-Beard status beautiful. I have, literally, been standing right next to Stephen when women walk up and start flirting with him. “I know he’s fucking pretty but I am RIGHT here. At least wait until I walk away.” But really, I’ve yet to find someone who thought that Stephen is ugly. Not even mediocre. When looking at him, I find that the majority of women suddenly lose the ability to speak proper sentences.

BUT.

I was not expecting to find out that I am now related to (& therefore could be cast out by society for fucking his sexy Dutch brains out) THIS man:

But you know what? The same genes that produced my husband and this man? Same genes that created my kids. Just sayin’.